Podcast #12 - The Power of Saying NO (Final Audio)
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[00:00:00] Welcome back to the Effortless Closing Podcast. Have you ever felt completely drained, stretched way too thin, and wondering why you're working so hard but not seeing the results you want? Well, I've got good news for you. Saying no might be exactly the thing you need to take back control of your business and your life.
Right now, in today's episode, we're talking about the power of the word no and how this tiny two letter word can completely shift how you operate, how much you earn and how you feel in your business. It's not just about saying no to work. It's about saying yes to peace, clarity, and the freedom to build a business and life.
That truly aligns with what you want. Let's get into it.
Intro: In my third year of real estate, I went from being a struggling solo agent to becoming a top 1 percent agent in the United States, earning over half a million dollars annually without a team or burnout. This podcast is your go to resource for [00:01:00] learning how to close deals effortlessly, build a thriving real estate business, and turn all your efforts into real results in half the time.
My name is Christina. I am the effortless closing coach and welcome to the effortless. Closing podcast.
I want to start off this episode with a story, a real raw moment when I struggled with that tiny but powerful word, no. Years ago, I was the agent who said yes to everything.
Every client who reached out, every referral, even the ones that gave me a pinch. In my stomach, I thought that more business meant more success. But one day I hit a breaking point. I had taken on a client who deep down I knew was going to be a nightmare. They questioned everything I did, ignored my advice, and dragged out the process for months.
And the worst part, while I was drowning in the one draining deal, I had to turn away another potential client who [00:02:00] was exactly. Who I wanted to work with because I just didn't have the bandwidth. That's the moment I realized every time I say yes something that misaligns with me, I'm actually saying no to something better.
And I knew something had to change. So I have made it a priority in my life to help agents like you not just get comfortable with this word, but to embrace it as one of the most powerful tools in your business saying no isn't negative. It's a strategic move that protects your time, your energy, and your success.
That is why I have a whole section inside my effortless closing machine where we dive deep into the fuel section, the part where we focus on how to actually manage, attract, and filter the leads that come in. And one of the biggest things I'm working on with agents in this cohort, teaching them how to say.
No, to the wrong leads and how they can say yes to more of the right ones. Because let's be real, just because someone wants to work with you doesn't mean [00:03:00] they're the right fit. Have you ever found yourself saying yes out of guilt or fear or obligation only to regret it later? You're not alone. Saying yes to every lead is exactly what's keeping you stuck, overworked, and underpaid. I want to start by helping you reframe this powerful word, no, and why this will be your superpower.
Let's reframe the way you think about No, instead of seeing it as shutting doors, what if you saw it as opening the right ones instead of fearing what you might lose?
What if you got excited about what you'll gain? Saying no, isn't about rejection. It's about redirection. It's about pointing yourself towards the work, the clients, the life that actually aligns with what you want. Think of it like decluttering your closet. You don't keep clothes that don't fit, right?
You make space for things you love, the ones that make you feel great and confident, the same goes for your business. Every note clears out what's misaligned and make [00:04:00] space for what truly is meant for you. Then you can experience the unexpected benefits of saying. Now, I know you might be thinking, saying no sounds good in theory, but what does it actually do for me?
Oh, let me tell you, this isn't just about business. Saying no creates a ripple effect in your entire life.
What does it do for you? Well, It's more energy and focus. When you stop over committing, you have more mental clarity and energy for the things that truly matter. You have better relationships saying no to the wrong people and opportunities. It actually strengthens your ability to build deeper, more valuable relationships with the right clients, partners, and team members.
What about more freedom and joy? The weight of obligation disappears when you allow yourself to be intentional with your time, creating space for things that actually make you happy. And then there's higher quality work and reputation. When you aren't spread thin, you can [00:05:00] deliver better results.
And that elevates your reputation as a high value expert. It also increases confidence. I talked to so many agents who are like, I can never do that. Saying no allows you to have that because every time you say no to something that doesn't serve you, you reinforce trust in yourself and your business decisions.
Saying no isn't about shutting things down. It's about opening up the right doors, the ones that actually align with where you want to go. And once you start using this word with confidence, you'll realize just how much lighter, happier, and more in control you feel. Now, let's dig into the magic that happens when you start saying no, how it shifts everything in your business, your confidence, and your income, because here's the truth.
Every intentional no opens up space for a bigger, better, and more aligned. Yes. Let's talk about something that I know you have felt the challenge of prioritizing intentional growth. Because let's be honest, you don't get into [00:06:00] real estate or entrepreneurship, however you see yourself to be stuck in an endless cycle of busyness.
You got into this because you had a vision for your life, a dream of what success should look like. But somewhere along the way you started saying yes to everything, every opportunity, every client, every network event, every shiny thing that looked like it might be a good idea. And suddenly you're spread too thin.
You're exhausted. You're spending more time chasing things that don't light you up than actually building what you want to build. So here's the big shift. Growth isn't about doing more. It's about doing the right things. And the only way to make space for what actually moves the needle. Well, you guessed it by saying no to things that don't.
No to clients who don't respect your time. No to deals that drain your energy. No to business strategies that don't align with your values. No to overextending yourself just to make others happy. Saying no isn't about missing out. It's about making sure that when the right opportunities come [00:07:00] along, you have the bandwidth to give it everything you've got.
And that, my friend, is how you grow with intention. Instead of exhaustion. Now, let's take this into our own lives because let's be real as moms and for you dads out there saying no can feel impossible. I mean, we want our kids to have all the experiences to feel supported to know that we're always there for them.
And before we know it, we're the room mom, the field trip shop room, the class treat baker, and the last minute volunteer for every single thing. Sound familiar? Or is that only me? I've been there. I have four kids, and I want them to have an amazing childhood, so I said yes to everything.
Everything. But here's what I learned. The more I said yes to everything, the less present I was for the things that actually mattered. I was rushing from one obligation to the next, exhausted, overwhelmed, and stretched so thin that I wasn't showing up as the mom I really wanted to be. And you know what hit me one day?
My kids didn't need me to be everywhere doing everything. They need me to be [00:08:00] happy. They need me to be present. And that means I had to start saying no, not because I didn't care, but because I cared so much. That I wanted to show up fully for the moments that mattered most. So I started setting boundaries.
I picked the school events that truly lit me up and let go of the rest. I stopped feeling guilty for not doing it all and started feeling empowered for protecting my time. And guess what? My kids still have an amazing childhood. And I finally had the space to grow as a person, to read, to rest, to dream bigger for myself and my business.
They get to see me as a person who has passions, interests, and dreams. Someone who actually enjoys life, not just someone who works and takes care of mom duties. And the best part, once I trusted the process of saying no, I secretly started loving my life and my kids even more. Saying no gave me back the energy and the presence to fully soak in the moments that truly matter.
Saying no in your personal life [00:09:00] doesn't mean you're saying no to your kids or your family. It means you're saying yes to being the best version of yourself. That's the greatest gift you can give them.
ECM ROI Ad#1: Do you mind if we stop for just one minute? Can we talk about your real estate business? Okay, you're closing deals. Maybe you're even hitting six figures or close to it, but Is what you're doing sustainable? Is it consistent? And more importantly, are you actually making the kind of money that allows you to enjoy your life without consistently hustling?
Because I hear it all the time. Agents tell me, I'm doing the work, a lot of work, but it's just not working the way I want. Or, I can't maintain doing 50 deals a year to keep reaching my numbers. I'm already exhausted. But here's the truth. It's not you, it's your system, or more likely the fact that you don't have one.
And that's exactly why I've created the Effortless Closing Machine ECM. This is the same system [00:10:00] that took me from hustling to over 558, 000 a year by my third year in real estate and has kept me up there in the top six figures for the last seven years, without chasing more leads, without working More hours without feeling like I'm on the verge of burnout.
And let's talk about the numbers because this part blows me away. Okay. One of our ECM options that we have is ECM foundations. It's our self study option. That's an investment of 1, 497. Agents using this system have closed deals worth 40, 000 or more. Is that not crazy? Did you know, that's a 2004% ROI, return on investment, on just one deal.
Okay, it gets a little bit crazier because this is not just a one time win. It works on deal after deal, year after year. Imagine closing 10 deals. [00:11:00] At 40, 000. How crazy would that be? That is a massive return on investment for just a 1, 497 investment. So ask yourself, how much more money are you actually losing by not having a system that maximizes every opportunity?
This isn't about pushing harder. It's about getting paid more for the deals you're already closing. No need to close 50 plus deals to make the money you want. ECM cuts your work in half while doubling your income. So you have two choices. Keep hoping things magically improve. Or be proactive and finally fix what's broken.
I'll add the link to ECM below so you can learn more about it and see if it's the right fit for you. Let's start maximizing your commissions, scale your success, and build a business that works for you, not the other way around. Okay, let's get back to the show.
Okay, now let's identify what truly moves the needle because this is probably one of the hardest parts.
Let's talk about this [00:12:00] idea, moving the needle, because I don't know about you, but when I first got into real estate, I thought everything was important. Every call, every showing, every email.
If a client needed me, I jumped. If an opportunity showed up, I took it. And what did that get me? A full calendar, an empty bank account. And they won my ticket to Oh my gosh, horrible burnout. But here's what I finally realized. Not all work is created equal. Some things move the needle and some things just keep you busy.
And if you're not crystal clear on which it is, you'll spend your whole career spinning your wheels instead of actually getting somewhere. So how do you figure out what actually matters? How do you start filtering out the distractions so that your yeses are only going to things that truly grow your business and your success?
Here's the secret. It all comes down to clarity. Ask yourself these three questions every time a new opportunity lead or task comes your way. Does this align with your core goals? If it doesn't fit with the vision you [00:13:00] have for your business and your life, it's probably a distraction. Will this bring me closer to my ideal life? Not just more money, but a business that supports the life that you actually want.
Another question is, is this opportunity truly worth the energy I'll invest? This is a huge one because let's be real. Some things just aren't worth the effort. I want to tell you a quick story about one of the agents inside of ECM cohort. Right now. I just had a long conversation with her yesterday. She was struggling before she came in doing way too many things.
I really got her focused before she came into ECM, got her started and she was doing great. And just recently she got. Super distracted. Again, her conversation really was that I'm going down a rabbit hole. I have too much on my plate. I'm overwhelmed. And even my partner seems to give me his two cents about everything I'm doing wrong.
Should I just give up and quit? I don't want to do this anymore. And I told her it's not because you are just struggling, it's because you're doing too much and you're doing too much that [00:14:00] doesn't actually move the needle. And the whole conversation was each item that you want to do in your business, think of it as a separate business.
If you want to do one element. That's one business. If you're going to focus on 10 elements, that's 10 businesses that you're focusing on. So I helped her through our conversation, really get aligned with just one element she's going to work on. One factor that actually, if she focused on this one thing, she would make half a million dollars this year, very, very effortlessly.
And so we went through the conversation and I told her, this is what lights you up. This is what you enjoy. This is what you need to do. And it's high value, which means you'll make more money doing it. So let's focus that all your marketing, all your efforts, the effortless closing machine that you're building.
You're gonna do it all around this one topic so that you have clarity around it. Your energy goes to the right spot and you feel like you're actually moving the needle, which means you'll want to keep doing this. Right? So this is really, really important to understand [00:15:00] that that's the power of clarity. When you know what's truly working for you, saying no to the rest, isn't hard. It's obvious. So here's my challenge for you. Take a hard look at your business today. What's actually moving you forward. What's just keeping you busy. Once you get clear on that.
Everything changes, but we don't just need this in business. We need to align work with our personal values too. One thing I noticed is that burnout happens fast when your work doesn't align with personal values. Saying yes to something misaligned, drains your energy and your enthusiasm for it. Think about the last project you took that didn't feel right.
Remember that heavy dragging feeling now compare that to a time you worked on something Deeply aligned with your values. It feels effortless exciting and energizing by saying no You're protecting your passion and maintaining alignment with what truly matters to you Creating boundaries that honor your energy is huge because here's the truth saying no isn't just about [00:16:00] your business It's about protecting you Your peace, your joy, your ability to show up as the best version of yourself as agents, entrepreneurs, and parents.
Our energy is our most valuable resource, but let's be honest, it's also the easiest thing to deplete between business demands, family obligations, and the pressure to be available all the time. It's no wonder so many of us are running on empty, but here's the game changer. Setting clear boundaries is not selfish.
It's a radical act of self respect. It's choosing to honor your energy so you can pour into the things and people that truly matter when you respect your own boundaries. Guess what? Others will too. When you set the standard for how your time and energy should be treated, the people around you adjust to meet those standards.
Your clients, your family, your friends, they start your time because guess what? You do. So let's make this our new mantra. Boundaries aren't barriers. [00:17:00] They're bridges to a life where you get to thrive instead of just survive. Saying no is how you respect your own time and energy. And guess what?
When you respect your own boundaries, others will too.
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But here's the truth. No matter how dialed in your strategy is, if your body isn't running at full capacity, your business will suffer. That's why health is a non negotiable for me, and why I've been using BiOptimizers for over four years to keep my energy, focus, and stress levels in check. Okay, think about it like this.
Your business is a high performance machine. Would you run it on cheap fuel? If you've ever come [00:18:00] into one of my ECM courses or heard me talk about it, I talk about the ECM, the effortless closing machine, and how you cannot put cheap fuel, which is bad leads, into the machine because you'll get bad results.
This is no different for your body. You need the right support to function at your best. So let me break it down. If you're feeling bloated or sluggish after meals, You're not digesting your food properly, which means you're not absorbing the nutrients you need for energy. That's where Mass Science and HCL Breakthrough comes in.
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Let me share with you my boundary protocol that keeps me clear with my real estate clients, because trust me, this was a game changer for my sanity. Early in my career, I used to be that agent answering calls at all hours rushing out to every showing request, like I was some kind of real estate firefighter.
And let me tell you, it was exhausting. So now I set the expectations up front before they even have a chance to start treating me like an on call doctor. I let them know I don't drop everything for a showing unless. Yes, there's an urgent reason, like an offer deadline, otherwise it can wait. I also don't respond to texts or calls in the evenings or weekends unless it's urgent or I'm working during those hours.
And do you know what? The role doesn't end. My clients respect it because I respect it. The ones who value [00:21:00] my time don't push those boundaries and the ones who don't, well, They make it really easy for me to know who's not a right fit for my business. If you don't set your boundaries, someone will do it for you.
And trust me, their plan for your time won't nearly be as kind as yours. Let me give you a little guidance on how to say no confidently and gracefully. I know what you might be thinking. Okay, I get that I should say no, but how do I actually do it without feeling like a total jerk? We've all been there worrying that saying no might make us seem rude, ungrateful, Or like we're shutting the door on future opportunities, but let's reframe that for a second.
What if saying no isn't about rejection, but about respect, respecting your time, your energy, and the commitment you've already made? What if saying no actually made people trust you more because they see you as someone who values their own priorities? Let me tell you about a time I had to master the art of saying no.
And fast, a few years ago, I got invited to speak at an event. normally I [00:22:00] would have said yes in a heartbeat. It was a great opportunity, great networking, all the things. The timing was terrible. I had back to back client meetings that week.
kids had a school performance and I refused to miss it. And honestly, I was exhausted. Every part of me wanted to say yes, just to avoid the awkwardness of saying no. But instead I send a response that looks something like this. I truly appreciate the invitation right now. My schedule is packed and I want to make sure I'm fully present for my commitments.
Please keep me in mind for future events. And I'd love to be involved when the timing works better. And you know what? The organizers didn't get mad. They didn't blacklist me from every future event. They actually thanked me for being honest and did reach out again later when the timing was better. And I have one right now I had to actually do this with.
I was being interviewed to speak at an event in Spain was supposed to be the end of June, but unfortunately my family and I have decided to make moves and to do some things over the summer and it just isn't going to work. So instead of pushing [00:23:00] myself, trying to rush out there for this event, I decided to say it's just not going to work this time, but I definitely want to be considered for next year.
And you know what? They loved it. So don't be afraid. Saying no is one of the most. powerful and respectful things you can do both for you and for the people you're interacting with. It sets expectations, creates clarity, and actually builds more trust, not less, because when you say yes to everything, people sense that your time isn't valuable and that's not the reputation that you want to build.
So how do you say no without it feeling awkward? Here are some easy phrases that. Keep it professional, polite, and clear. You can incorporate these into any situation you want. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Right now, I am fully focused on other projects, but I really appreciate the opportunity. I appreciate the offer, but this doesn't align with my current goals.
I'd love to stay in touch for future opportunities. This sounds amazing, but I have to pass right now to make sure I can fully [00:24:00] commit to my priorities. Wishing you the best. I would love to, but my plate is full at the moment. Let's reconnect when the time is better. And here's a great one if you have a client that doesn't fit and you would like to have them go with someone else.
I would always say. The opportunity we're talking about is amazing. Unfortunately, I only work with clients who do XYZ. However, I have a partner agent who does exactly what you are looking for. They're the expert, and I want to make sure you have the best experience. Are you okay if I introduce you into so and so so that they can help you with this?
And I just made a referral fee. So if you notice something, nowhere in these responses, is there an apology? Because saying no, isn't something you need to feel bad about. It's something you should own. And here's the best part. When you say no confidently and kindly, you're reinforcing your values, your boundaries, and your professionalism.
And guess what? People respect that. They start seeing you as someone who is in control of their time, their energy, and [00:25:00] their success. And that. That's a total game changer. So here's my challenge for you. The next time you feel that pull to say yes out of obligation, pause. Take a deep breath and remember that every no you say to something Misaligned is actually a yes to something better.
What a great topic. I love this topic. Let's bring this full cycle and bring it home building the business and life. You've always wanted starts Today at the end of the day, saying no, isn't just about setting boundaries. It's about creating the life you actually want. It's about being intentional with your time, your energy, your focus, so that you're not just busy, but productive so that you're not just making money, but building a business that fuels your happiness and freedom saying no, isn't about closing doors.
It's about making sure the right doors are wide open for you, and the more you practice it, the more you realize how free it is to be in control of your [00:26:00] choices, instead of letting everyone else dictate your schedule and your priorities. Inside Effortless Closing Machine, my ECM, this is exactly what we focus on, helping agents like you shift from overwhelm to clarity and confidence.
We work on simplifying, streamlining, and stepping into the next level where you're no longer saying yes. Out of obligation, but choosing your yeses with intention. If you're feeling called to finally break free from the cycle of over commitment and step into a business that truly works for you, let's talk, I'd love to help you make that shift.
ECM foundation is our self study program, and it's always open, ready for you to dive in at your own pace and start making real changes. All right, before we wrap up, here are a few things to keep in mind. Want more great trainings, check out my YouTube channel. I've got a ton of valuable content, completely different than here on the podcast, and it's all waiting for you on YouTube.
I'll drop the link in the show notes so you can find it easily. Next, don't miss our upcoming [00:27:00] live training, the effortless business tune up. It's happening this March, and if you're tired of being a transactional agent chasing volume, instead of optimizing your business, this is for you. We'll work together to build a streamlined.
Optimize and truly effortless business plan because the only large number in your business should be how much you earn and not how much you hustle. Thank you so much for joining me today. Until next time, keep saying no to what drains you and yes to what truly lights you up. Your dream business and life is waiting for you to claim it.
